Another day

This is the 1st post in a long time so as everything goes we are ok. I am overly wore out and going to school 4 days a week Monday being the longest day of the week. The kids are great I do miss hanging out with my friends, but I have to go to school. And needless to say i sooooo want my car back so I don't have to worry about asking people to take me places. But truly blessed to have another beautiful day.

Beautiful New Family Member

There is nothing more beautiful then life of a beautiful baby coming into the world getting to know it's mother and father. I like to take the time to welcome Mia to the family you are such a beautiful baby girl just like your mother I love you bother so much.

sad thought

Sometimes people fight and everything works out for the best right? Or does it really? Does one's heart truly forgive the pain that was caused to them, names that was called, things that gone unsaid that could and would have stopped it all. The thoughts that stay in the mind of what would it have been like with out you would I been happier? Or would I have fallin? Guess things will never be answered because someone reason the pain keeps rotting my heart

Who am I to say you Love me

Love of my life, my soulmate
You're my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left

I don't know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come & gone
Don't know why I'm still searching

Don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

Now you're a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what's meant to be
& that's okay with me

But who am I to say you love me
& who am I to say you need me
& who am I to say you love me

I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me
I don't know anything at all

I don't know anything at all

late night thoughts

                                    
The weirdest thing happend the other morning. I woke up with tears in my eyes and one rolling down my cheek and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.  it's hard to answer the question "whats wrong?" when nothings right. I love you both and miss you everyday I hope you are playing with Nana happily. Mommy loves you.

New Beginnings

Smell of decaying leaves beneath the tree
Some remnants of the passing cold nights
Just below, fragile new saplings on a spree
Instinctively catching share of the sun light

Calm morning breeze, golden horizon
A day has just begun, yesterday is gone
Tears that have been shed, forgotten
Let the past through, bygones be bygones

Soon enough, flowers will start to bloom
Parading their lustful colors, treat it is
Decays of their dead ancestors can’t be seen
But beneath shall nourish their growths

Frustrations and pain of days gone by
Must remain where it lasted, move on
Memories are to be kept, not to live by
Start, plan and dig, sow new beginnings .

life

                                 Life isn't always what you want it to be, it's what you make it. My life hasn't always been happiness full of roses and smiles. It took me this long to see that only I make changes to make things better. I am a mother to some of the most amazing children you will ever met, wife to great man who I love madly. We have our fights, troubles but at least we care enough to fight for what we love and want. Life hasn't always been a easy ride. I'm a full- time student, mother and wife when do I have me time to make myself happy, to rest fully? Well I'm a mom I don't get I'm lucky to be able to get a shower and get the house clean before the kids get up. Life is amazing at the same time if I say so myself. I am blessed to have my children who loves  me no matter what happens as well a husband who has my back. But why do I feel like I'm falling apart? I guess only time will tell....

as the sun rises,
like a zombie,
trapped in this dream
i watch life pass by;

i wandered alone,
fighting all that came in my way,
struggling to make sense of this
war, that does not seem to stop;

a shell of what i used to be,
i wear a mask to hide me from
the vultures that prowl all around,
wanting something to chew on;

no emotion,
no pain and,
no happiness,
just a haunted emptiness;

yelling and screaming,
hiding behind closed doors,
watching life pass by
with my empty eyes;

alone i sit,                
in the grip of darkness,
as the arms of silence slowly engulf me,
a strange numbness takes over me;